Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Apparently I'm a hippie

I won't bore you with the evolution of my wardrobe, but it suffices to say that my mother doesn't get me and my current style. She longs for the looks of 16-year-old Lauren, who dressed like a miniature First Lady in cardigans and pearls, had long hair, and thought piercings and tattoos were trashy. I think I truly wanted to grow up and be Donna Reed.

These days, I don't really adhere to any fashion process. I follow trends at times, but I am in no way trendy. I dress more casually than not, but still feminine, choosing a flannel and sneakers over silk and heels most days, but I definitely kept the cardigan as a staple in my wardrobe. (Holler fellow librarians.) I wear my hair shortish and have a stud in my nose.I dress up when I want; I dress down when I want. I don't really think about clothes all that much during my day.

So I go home a few weekends ago, and I'm meeting up with some friends to go to a party at a warehouse. My friends are photographers and artists, and they have a space where they work. No A/C. In southern Alabama. I wore a pair of jorts with a tank top, and apparently my bra strap was showing a bit when I left. On Saturday, I wore a royal blue skirt with black and white shirt, black shoes. And apparently my skirt was wrinkled from spending the day laying on the couch watching Lifetime movies with Grandma.  I thought nothing of this. So here's an abbreviated version of the conversation from Sunday:

Mom: Lauren, I think we should have a talk. Do you need money to buy new clothes?
Me: Huh?
Mom: Well your grandmother and father and I are worried about the clothes you've left the house in. We know you're on a tight budget. Are you sure you don't need some help?
Me: Ummm no, I'm fine. What in the world is wrong with my clothes?
Mom: Well, honey, you were wearing cutoff jean shorts. And your bra strap was showing. And then on Saturday you didn't match at all. Why in God's Name would you think black and blue matched? And your skirt was wrinkled. I was just embarrassed for you! You look like a throwaway with no sense. What is Nashville doing to you? Your friends are all hippies. Are you turning into a hippie? I didn't raise you to be a hippie!
Me: That is ridiculous.***
Mom: Well if you leave the house like that, no wonder you are single. 
Me: (fuming) ........ 

Dun dun dunnnnnn. Yeah, she went there. (*slaps palm to face*) Moms, even if you are making the most ridiculously insane statement to prove your point, it is never nice to remind your 27-year-old single daughter of this.

***I actually spent a good 15 minutes trying to defend why my outfit DID match, and how jorts are perfectly acceptable during the hot summertime, and how I thought she was misconstruing the word "hippie," but if I WERE one, why that wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to her... but to no avail. At least it's pretty funny in retrospect.

Here are the faces of true hippies, folks (taken one of the nights in question):
That's one of my oldest friends, Tony. Presumably a hippie. We look pretty crazy and miserable in our hippie singledom, yes?

Peter Bjorn and John say it best:
and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you


Katie said...

You are hysterical!
I love the way you dress and I can't believe your mom would say that to you :0
your hippie friend ;)

RRB said...

Comment on the cut-off jorts was definitely the best...glad I got to witness the drama. It was just as laughable in person. :)