Friday, July 30, 2010

The standards have been raised, people

My relationship history is splotchy at best, resembling more of a "what not to do" guide in the search for love than anything else.  I don't have a type, really, and I'm quite weird eclectic. Suffice it to say, whoever comes along and ends up being The Guy will be just as big of a surprise to me as it probably will be to you.

So let's talk about standards. I recall a conversation once, a very long time ago, between me and an ex-boyfriend about traits we desired in a husband or wife. I remember we laughed because I started listing more tangible things like "He can't be a Bama fan or have facial hair," and that I absolutely would not tolerate any fondness for taxidermy in an form displayed or hung in a house. All the while, the ex was listing important character traits and the like. How mature of him. (Wonder why that didn't work out.)

Now that "ironic taxidermy" seems to be hip (see to the left) and not necessarily indicative of one's hunting activities, this is something I could likely overlook. Plus, we all know I have a thing for bearded men. But what puzzles me is that at the time, I didn't seem to worry too much about values or characteristics important for the longevity of a relationship with me (ie, patience, humor, and unabashed dorkiness). I was young, in college... the world was my oyster or something, and the ideas of heartbreak, unemployment, and disappointment were meaningless words... things that other people endured. But surely not me. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

So now, 10 years later or so, I've reassessed. I know myself. I've been inspired by many of my friends' marriages, but not disillusioned, as I've seen a few go through divorces as well. But all in all, I now have a new standard. Any guy who wants to marry me must be willing to do something like this:

Lauren + JP from Matt Odom on Vimeo. Also that's "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit on the video. I"m digging the sound. The couple in the video are from GA (it's an Atlanta-based design/photography/video company), and the wedding took place in LaGrange! (That will be more significant to any Auburn or Dothan folks.)

Not that I'm sold on creating a music video from my wedding day.... But a guy who is WILLING to do this is likely funny, laid back, open-minded, and spontaneous. Kinda silly. Able to laugh at himself. Willing to try new things and explore. These are all good things. And he probably loves music, which is certainly something I look for. [As my friend Jane recently said, "Why would anyone not be obsessed with music? Music lovers and book lovers are the only people who are worthwhile."]

Other non-related bits of importance... Sharing my faith, but not my stature. (I'm only 5 feet tall myself, and it would just be mean to procreate with another short stack.) And he should be nice. Nice guys never finish last in my book.

So what did I miss?

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