Thursday, February 24, 2011

Stagnant

Life has been crazy lately... but not necessarily mine. As I said in a previous post, I'm looking forward to several weddings this year, and not just because of the parties, food/booze, and gathering with friends. I get to witness and take part in the weddings of people who are important in my life. I'm honored to have been asked to read a verse from Ephesians in one, while in another I'll stand right up there as a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. In another, for a good friend with whom I share this impeccable music taste, I've been asked to help with music selections (she flatters me). I anticipate going through a lot of Kleenex in my near future.

In addition to all of the weddings, I've had three friends announce pregnancies, all due the same week in September and all unplanned, but everyone is excited and welcoming these new little nuggets with open arms and happy hearts. I'm thrilled for my friends, and I have realized two things lately: 1: The rhythm method is NOT to be trusted; and 2: By the time I have babies, all of these kiddos will be around to babysit! Score!

With all of this going on around me, I can't help but feel my life is a bit stagnant. When I bump into someone I haven't seen in a while and they ask "what's new?", my response comes as a mumbling of "blahblah work blahblah moving blahblah concerts" and the like. I'm 28 and single. Stable. Doing well. Plugging along. All that jazz. But I think this is ok. I'm happy for my friends. I love my friends. And I genuinely want to be there for every bit of the festivities possible. $3.29/gallon gas prices won't stop me from driving South. I can't express what it was like to be there with my best friend as she made the final decision on which dress she'd wear on her wedding day. Cheesy as it is, these are those moments.

I tend to be a narcissist. It came very much be All About Me sometimes. It terrifies me to think of how many times I use the words "I" or "me" in my blog writing or speaking. Moving into my own place excites me, not because I want to walk around naked or not worry about someone else's dishes, but mostly because I want to have MY space filled with MY things. Me me ME. It's something I (attempt to) keep in check. And I'm long overdue on a post about the implications of this in my spiritual life. I struggle daily with replacing the thought of "What can God do for ME?" with "What can I do for God?" Daily. It's relentless.

But right now... it's not about me. It's about them. It's about Him. It's about soaking it all in and sharing this crazy life with all of those people around me I love. Birds are falling from trees, people. The earth is quaking. Auburn and Alabama fans are working together for a common good. This could very well be the end of days.

And I have a feeling 2011 will have some surprises in store for me as well.

No comments: